I’m having so many feelings about turning 30. For the most part, I am so stoked about all the life that is coming at me in the next decade. I feel like my 20s went by in the blink of an eye. I was so entrenched in finding myself and figuring out who I am as a person and I am so grateful for that time. But it was also filled with so much uncertainty, anxiety, borderline agoraphobia, financial and job insecurity. Twenty-nine was the year that settled most of those concerns – a job and life I love, a Roth IRA that is maxed out, a condo I’m turning into a home, relatively-stable mental health, and a reaffirmation of how great the people are I’ve chosen and have chosen me in return. It is with all that positivity I am looking forward to more stability in the coming years. So, on the last day of my 20s, I thought I’d reflect on 29 lessons learned so far and advice I wished I’d taken sooner in this nutty thing called life.
1. Don’t let your internal critic keep you from living your life.
2. You are allowed to change your mind. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.
3. Don’t be afraid of stillness or silence. And get comfortable being uncomfortable. That’s when you learn the most.
4. Learning to cook for one is hard – try large batches and then freeze everything.
5. Trust your intuition, especially about life decisions and people. Never feel remorse for cutting people out of your life when you need to.
6. Being an introvert doesn’t mean you can’t be social. It also doesn’t make you worth less than those who are louder.
7. Dating, while fun, is rough and exhausting. Wish I could tell you it was worth it but that confirmation hasn’t come yet.
8. No matter how busy you are, make time for people who fill your bucket (e.g. go out when you’d rather watch tv, put off the shower for an extra hour to play kickball)
9. Doing nothing is great. Doing nothing while your best friend sits next to you, also doing nothing, is better.
10. Know your triggers and avoid them – prioritize all forms of health.
11. Be authentic always – life is better when you stop lying to yourself and the world.
12. Make peace with your body. Once you do, you’ll automatically treat it better.
13. Prioritize yourself and your happiness. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want – to go after it when you finally figure it out.
14. Sweet potatoes and avocado toast are delicious – stop avoiding them.
15. Try one more time.
16. You’ll never regret saving more money – future Ashleigh will thank you.
17. Don’t follow people on social media that make you feel like crap.
18. Don’t cross oceans for people who won’t hop puddles for you.
19. Book the flight – take a Xanax if you need to actually get on the plane. It’l be worth it.
20. Stay forever reading – keep a book in every purse, on every desk
21. The expensive vibrator is 200% worth it. Buy it.
22. Always make time for FaceTime – it shortens the distance between you and your favorite people.
23. Identity matters. It is present everywhere. Pay attention and interject as needed. Use your privilege.
24. Always get dessert if there’s room and don’t feel guilty about it – and always hunt down the best cupcake/ice cream in every city you visit
25. Go to the gym and keep goal setting (and don’t be afraid to squat 100lbs)
26. Apply for the job you don’t feel qualified for.
27. Learn to keep a plant alive (even if it’s just a succulent).
28. Let go of the Catholic guilt – its unproductive and a hindrance.
29. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
It is really something to know my worth, my value, and what I bring to the table. And I can only imagine what that might do for me in the next ten years. Here’s hoping for so much goodness!
sjadvocates 